Here's how to focus on the things that you actually can control.

I have struggled with the need for control for most of my life.

For a long time, I felt like my life was out of control, out of my hands. Every day, it felt like things happened to me that I didn’t expect o...

And it's actually a huge relief.

I used to spend a lot of time worrying about how other people judged me.

What I wore, was it appropriate, did it fit right? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? This person must think I’m too intense. And that person must think I’m n...

Don't get in your head about the easy stuff.

My 11 year old son tried scuba diving the other day.

We were in a tropical location for Spring Break. The minimum age is 10 years old to do a little resort dive, about 20–30 yards off the coast. And his friend did it the day b...

A reminder that the "size" of good and bad is all in our heads.

My husband was going through some papers the other day, trying to put our taxes together.

He texted me from his office. Mixed in with some old paperwork, he found one of my first annual reviews from Wall Str...

Bringing giant fears back down to size.

I have to go to the dentist this afternoon.

Not for a cleaning, but to have…a procedure.

The appointment shouldn’t take more than an hour. And its only 15 minutes from my house. Which means this lovely dental adventure shouldn’t tak...

A life without the best is pretty damn great.

I am not the best writer.

I am not the fastest runner in my age group.

I am not the best mom in the world.

I am a middle of the road, middle of the country, midlife working woman, wife, and mother. Indistinguishable, at times,...

Sometimes guilt is just people pleasing in disguise.

If you’re a certain kind of person (and I am that kind of person), the feeling of guilt can be triggered by the smallest thing.

Not picking your son up from school on a Thursday at 3pm because you are working.

When your...

Sometimes you just need to focus on the math.

I was recently introduced to a woman who has dreamed of starting a non-profit organization for several years.

Her son has a rare medical diagnosis. And while he is fine now, she went through a scary few years. She wants to st...

Some days we're less inspired than others.  It doesn't have to mean anything.

I am in a motivated phase of my life. I’ve done a lot and been through a lot to get here. And I’m at the point where I enjoy the work I do, I enjoy the calm that organization brings me, and I...

Step 1: Accept that you will never finish it all

My to-do list covers a lot of ground.

Right now, I have at least 16 things on it, and a lot of them are not related. Some are about my kids, some about work. My dog needs to go to the groomer. I need to Marie Kondo my clos...

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Denver, Colorado, United States

© 2019 Deb Knobelman, PhD.